IRREFUTABLE OPINION PIECE
If you're on this site it means you normally went straight to the Asterix comics on your childhood visits to the library. But probably you also spent a fair amount of time reading Tintin, too. Sure, there are people who love Asterix while hating Tintin, or vice versa, but those people are crazy. That's because Asterix and Tintin are THE SAME EXACT THING.
Let's look at the evidence:
1. The main characters are the same
Short, brave, intelligent, good in a fight, loyal, honest... The only real difference is their name.
2. Their best buddies are the same
Loud, big, brash, reckless, with insatiable appetites, Obelix and Haddock were separated at birth. While Obelix fell into a vat of magic potion, Haddock fell into a vat of whiskey.
3. Their pets are the same
'What pet shall we give our hero?' 'An adorable little white dog?' 'But naturally!'
4. There's an annoying singer
Always depicted surrounded by shaky notes, these people are friendless, fanless, unwanted, and without talent. They finish every comic in bondage, but while the reader sees Cacofonix chained up for the evening feast, Casafiore's evening proclivities are not suitable for a family audience.
5. There are annoying little brat kids
Ugh. Kids. Vomit.
6. There are eccentric inventor types
Inventive genius, sometimes absent-minded, sometimes their creations wind up in the wrong hands. Embrace technology and fear it!
7. They're both full of Victorian-era racism
I mean, seriously. Come on.
8. They both had stupendously good translators
The whole 'Latin Jokes Explained' series only exists because of the incredible work done by Anthea Bell and Derek Hockridge. With a pinch of Latin, a soupcon of idiom, and stirring in some subtle puns, they made Asterix palatable to the whole English-speaking world. The Tintin translation team did an equally impressive job, but without the Latin.
9. Girls? What girls?
There are almost no female roles in either series, and when there are some women lying around, they are either oversexualised or harridans. One of the few major female characters is Cleopatra. Apart from her, can you think of any woman in either series who actually does anything or contributes to any story?
What do you think? Am I right or am I right?